is always a part of the answer;
The Loser is always a part of the problem.
always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.
says, "Let me do it for you;"
The Loser says, "That's not my job."
sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem in every answer.
says, "It may be difficult but it's possible;"
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it's too
Whole World Stinks
men and philosophers throughout the ages have disagreed on
many things, but many are in unanimous agreement on one
point: "We become what we think about." Ralph
Waldo Emerson said, "A man is what he thinks about
all day long." The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius put
it this way: "A man's life is what his thoughts make
of it." In the Bible we find: "As a man thinks
in his heart, so is he."
Sunday afternoon, a cranky grandfather was visiting his
family. As he lay down to take a nap, his grandson decided
to have a little fun by putting Limburger cheese on
Grandfather's mustache. Soon, grandpa awoke with a snort
and charged out of the bedroom saying, "This room
stinks." Through the house he went, finding every
room smelling the same. Desperately he made his way
outside only to find that "the whole world
it is when we fill our minds with negativism. Everything
we experience and everybody we encounter will carry the
scent we hold in our mind.
Declaration of Self Esteem
I am me.
unique. There's not another human being in the whole world
like me -- I have my very own fingerprints and I have my
very own thoughts. I was not stamped out of a mold like a
Coca-Cola top to be the duplicate of another.
I own all
of me -- my body, and I can do with it what I choose; my
mind, and all of its thoughts and ideas; my feelings,
whether joyful or painful.
I own my
ideals, my dreams, my hopes, my fantasies, my fears.
the right to think and feel differently from others and
will grant to others their right to thoughts and feelings
not identical with my own.
I own all
my triumphs and successes. I own also all my failures and
mistakes. I am the cause of what I do and am responsible
for my own behavior. I will permit myself to be imperfect.
When I make mistakes or fail, I will know that I am not
the failure -- I am still O.K. -- and I will discard some
parts of me that were unfitting and will try new ways.
laugh freely and loudly at myself -- a healthy
I will have
fun living inside my skin.
remember that the door to everybody's life needs this
I have value and worth.
I am me, and I am O.K.
from Self Esteem by Virginia Satir)
Baker and the Farmer
baker in a little country town bought the butter he used
from a nearby farmer. One day he suspected that the bricks
of butter were not full pounds, and for several days he
right. They were short weight, and he had the farmer
trial the judge said to the farmer, "I presume you
how do you manage to weigh the butter you sell?"
inquired the judge.
replied, "That's easily explained, your honor. I have
balances and for a weight I use a one-pound loaf I buy
from the baker."
- I am
resourceful and I have the ability to do whatever it
takes to succeed, and to support all those whom I
- I enjoy
life's challenges, and I learn from everything that
happens in my life.
- I live
each day with passion and power.
- I feel
strong and powerful, happy, and excited.
- I have
tremendous confidence in my talents and my abilities.
- I meet
every situation knowing I am its master.
- I have
deep respect for myself and for everyone I meet each
- I am
committed to perform at the best of my ability in all
- I do.
forgive myself and others easily.
- I am
aware of the priceless value of my life and the life
of everyone I meet.
confidence is unshakable because I live with
- I am
always at peace because I trust and follow my internal
were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in
the lowlands and the other high in the mountains. The
mountain people invaded the lowlanders one day, and as
part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a
baby of one of the lowlander families and took the infant
with them back up into the mountains.
lowlanders didn't know how to climb the mountain. They
didn't know any of the trails that the mountain people
used, and they didn't know where to find the mountain
people or how to track them in the steep terrain.
so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to
climb the mountain and bring the baby home.
men tried first one method of climbing and then another.
They tried one trail and then another. After several days
of effort, however, they had climbed only several hundred
hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the
cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their
they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the
baby's mother walking toward them. They realized that she
was coming down the mountain that they hadn't figured out
how to climb.
then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back.
How could that be?
man greeted her and said, "We couldn't climb this
mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and
most able men in the village, couldn't do it?"
shrugged her shoulders and said, "It wasn't your
Your Garden Today
First, plant 3 rows of peas;
3 rows of squash;
3 rows of lettuce;
- Let us
- Let us
be true to our Obligations
- Let us
with 4 rows of turnip;
- Turn up
- Turn up
with a Smile
- Turn up
with a Vision
- Turn up
takes a disciplined spirit to endure the monastery on
Mount Serat in Spain. One of the fundamental requirements
of this religious order is that the young men must
maintain silence. Opportunities to speak are scheduled
once every two years, at which time they are allowed to
speak only two words.
young initiate in this religious order, who had completed
his first two years of training, was invited by his
superior to make his first two-word presentation.
"Food terrible," he said. Two years later the
invitation was once again extended. The young man used
this forum to exclaim, "Bed lumpy." Arriving at
his superior's office two years later he proclaimed,
"I quit." The superior looked at this young monk
and said, "You know, it doesn't surprise me a bit.
All you've done since you arrived is complain, complain,
Maybe. What if you were asked to share two words that
describe your Life? would your focus be the lumps, bumps,
and unfairness, or are you committed to dwell on those
things that are good, right, and lovely?
on the Tao Te Ching
are words, they are not life. Words are used to draw
lines and describe concepts. Life is not a concept,
nor is it divided or explained by words. Words cause
nonsense. Life is lived, not described.
separate things: There is life/death, difficult/easy,
long/short, high/low ... and all points in between.
Music comes from varying tones. No sane person can
determine the law of life, the way of life in between
these points. No one knows the way, or what will or
should happen next. How can a leader be important and
show the way when they are limited. Never be
government comes from many people who live by their
hearts and not some important person's rule and
direction based on their limited knowledge.
Universe can take care of itself. It does not need
go crazy arguing about the Universe, though it has
taken care of itself very long.
- Life is
free -- the more you breathe, the more breath is left
Universe is deathless.
- A human
is like this also. They take care of themselves. There
is an inherent undertone and current of health and
integrity which takes care of a person. A person seeks
a natural level with their Universe.
- Tao is
quiet and unnoticed by the outside world.
- We live
in the space (emptiness) of a house. Tao is empty of
orientation causes problems. Internal orientation is
quiet and sensible.
flows deeper than the rising and setting of the sun. A
deeper existence is in each person as well. This is
cannot be understood, but it flows. "When the
river is murky, be patient and let the rivers flow and
take it's course, it will clear the mud."
life (birth, flowering, death) quietly and openly.
Accept the flowing of the River.
- A good
leader leads others to leading themselves.
lose Tao, distortion in the outward comes -- law,
ritual, words, hypocrisy. This is not the inward quiet
flow of life, but confusion and chaos.
words or analysis of life, distracts from life; status
carries problems; law causes thieves -- these ways
fail to bring happiness. Tao is in the heart, not in
greed, status, or knowledge.
knowledge is a distraction, their leaders are a fake.
How can someone know the way for other people ? The
material world is so important to people, they make
their mark, while I am quietly nursing at the breast
- You try
to know or measure what cannot be understood or
measured. Accept life that way, it precedes anyway.
- Yield to
life forces. What can happen that cannot be mended ?
natural following life, don't insist or force. Nature
does not insist. Follow life naturally and you will be
notes paraphrase in common language)
(a modern translation of the Tao Te Ching.
Creed To Live By
undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It
is because we are different that each of us is special.
your goals by what other people deem important. Only you
know what is best for you.
for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to
them as you would your life, for without them life is
your life slip through your fingers by living in the past
or for the future. By living your life one day at a time,
you live all the days of your life.
up when you still have something to give. Nothing is
really over until the moment you stop trying.
afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this
fragile thread that binds us to each other.
be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that
we learn how to be brave.
love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The
fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and
the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without
hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.
through life so fast that you forget not only where you've
been, but also where you're going. Life is not a race, but
a journey to be savored each step of the way.
businessman was highly critical of his competitors'
storefront windows. "Why, they are the dirtiest
windows in town," he claimed. Fellow business people
grew tired of the man's continual criticism and nitpicking
comments about the windows. One day over coffee, the
carried the subject just too far. Before leaving, a fellow
store owner suggested the man get his own windows washed.
He followed the advice, and the next day at coffee, he
exclaimed, "I can't believe it. As soon as I washed
my windows, my competitor must have cleaned his too. You
should see them shine."
once declared, "Don't complain about the snow on your
neighbor's roof when your own doorstep is unclean."
One of the
wonderful by-products of high self-esteem is that you
become a "Peak Performer."
you become more aware of your abilities and recognize that
opportunities to stretch your capabilities are limitless.
You desire change, growth, and challenge, and a healthy
self-esteem provides the energy.
performers have more than goals, they have a vision of
what their life will mean to themselves and others. Peak
performers do not live in the future. Peak performers make
sure each step taken in the present keeps them on the road
toward their life goal.
Performers Can Say:
- I am
motivated and have a mission with realistic and
- I accept
complete responsibility for everything I think, say,
feel, and do.
- I look
for the window of opportunity in every situation and
know that I will learn from every experience if I
- I always
help others to do their best, and I encourage everyone
to contribute something.
correct my course when I reach an obstacle. This way,
when things go wrong, I am still headed in the right
- I expect
and appreciate change. It does not overwhelm me
because I am prepared.
- I stand
up for my own opinions and values and respect others.
- I am
able to manage myself. I do not require instruction
every step of the way.
- I am not
afraid of making mistakes or of taking reasonable
- I am my
own coach. I engage in positive self-talk and
- I am a
life-long student. I am always ready to learn, and I
know growth takes sustained effort.
- I know
myself well and still expect to find hidden talents,
resources, strengths, weaknesses, energy, and
respect reality both pleasant and painful.
- I engage
in self-confrontation and do not blame others.
readily forgive others and myself and correct mistakes
- I am
patient, kind, gentle, and compassionate with myself.
- I have
no need to prove I am better or worse than anybody
from the Self Esteem Workbook)
is the moment of embarking.
All auspicious signs are in place.
the beginning, all things are hopeful. We prepare
ourselves to start anew. Though we may be intent on the
magnificent journey ahead, all things are contained in the
first moment: our optimism, our faith, our resolution, our
order to start, we must make a decision. The decision is a
commitment to daily self- cultivation. We must make a
strong connection to our inner selves. Outside matters are
superfluous. Alone and naked, we negotiate all of life's
travails. Therefore, we alone must make something of
ourselves, transforming ourselves into the instruments for
experiencing the deepest spiritual essence of life.
we make our decision, all things will come to us.
Auspicious signs are not a superstition, but a
confirmation. They are a response. It is said that if one
chooses to pray to a rock with enough devotion, even that
rock will come alive. In the same way, once we choose to
commit ourselves to spiritual practice, even the mountains
and valleys will reverberate to the sound of our purpose.
soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin, the Zen master,
and asked: "Is there really a paradise and a
are you?" inquired Hakuin.
am a samurai," the warrior replied.
a soldier!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of
ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like
that of a beggar."
became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but
Hakuin continued: "So you have a sword! Your weapon
is probably much too dull to cut off my head."
Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: "Here open
the gates of hell!"
these words the samurai, perceiving the master's
discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.
open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.
stands in the blue estuary,
Solitary, white, unmoving for hours.
A fish! Quick avian darting;
The prey is captured.
always ask how to follow Tao. It is as easy and natural as
the heron standing in the water. The bird moves when it
must; it does not move when stillness is appropriate.
of its serenity is a type of vigilance, a contemplative
state. The heron is not in mere dumbness or sleep. It
knows a lucid stillness. It stands unmoving in the flow of
the water. It gazes unperturbed and is aware. When Tao
brings it something that it needs, it seizes the
opportunity without hesitation or deliberation. Then it
goes back to its quiescence without disturbing itself or
its surroundings. Unless it found the right position in
the water's flow and remained patient, it would not have
life can be reduced to two factors; positioning and
timing. If we are not in the right place at the right
time, we cannot possibly take advantage of what life has
to offer us.
anything is appropriate if an action is in accord with the
time and place. But we must be vigilant and prepared. Even
if the time and the place are right, we can still miss our
chance if we do not notice the moment, if we act
inadequately, or if we hamper ourselves with doubts and
presents an opportunity, we must be ready to seize it
without hesitation or inhibition. Position is useless
without awareness. If we have both, we make no mistakes.
battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it
scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old
violin. But he held it up with a smile:
am I biddin' good folks," He cried. "Who'll
start the biddin' for me ? A dollar;" then, "two
! Only two ? Two dollars, and who'll make it three ? Three
dollars once, three dollars twice; going for three ---
" But no.
room, far back, a gray-haired man came forward and picked
up the bow. Then, wiping the dust from the old violin, and
tightening the loose strings, he played a melody pure and
sweet as a carolling angel's wings.
many a man with life out of tune, who's battered and
scarred, and is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd,
much like the old violin. A mess of potage, a glass of
wine, a game, and he travels on. He is going once, and
going twice, he's going and almost gone.
Master comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite
understand the worth of a soul, and the change that's
wrought by the touch of the Master's Hand.
Of The Sky Nation
Thunder-beings were busy giving birth to new clouds,
sending them to dance in the blue playground of sky.
Grandfather Sun provided the glittering sunbeams, which
acted like jump ropes for today's newborn white, puffy
One of the
most curious little clouds wandered off on the winds. She
decided she was going to have a talk with Sacred Mountain.
"Grandmother Mountain, I've come to ask you if your
forests need rain today," she said. "I want to
be of service, and so I thought I had better find out what
is needed most."
Mountain told the little cloud that there was plenty of
moisture today, but the little one could help in another
way. Sacred Mountain taught the little cloud how to
understand the thoughts and questions that the human
beings were having. It was fun for the little cloud to
capture the waves of human thoughts rising from the Earth
and to answer the humans' unspoken questions by becoming
shapes that formed a series of ideas. The needed answers
were found through the linking ideas.
cloud approached Sacred Mountain at the end of the day
with another question that caused Cloud to have a heavy
heart, "Grandmother Mountain, I've worked all day to
reflect helpful answers to the Human Tribe, but now I have
one very important question. How can we get them to look
up and pay attention?;
Rules for the Good Life
put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
trouble another for what you can do yourself.
spend your money before you have it.
buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will
never be dear to you.
costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
repent of having eaten too little.
is troublesome that we do willingly.
let the evils which have never happened cost you pain.
take things by their smooth handle.
angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry,
count to one hundred.
is a list of "Thomas Jefferson's ten rules for the
is a game of cards. The cards are shuffled and the hands
are dealt. You must play your cards well" -- Eugene
is a play. It's not its length, but its performance that
counts." -- Seneca
is a B-picture script." -- Kirk Douglas
is something like a trumpet. If you don't put anything in,
you won't get anything out." -- W.C. Handy.
life is a simple letter in the alphabet. It can be
meaningless. Or it can be part of a great meaning."
-- Jewish Seminary
is a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller
is an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and
sometimes you weep." -- Carl Sandburg
is what's happening while you're thinking about something
else." -- AA saying
day I learn more
Each day I
learn more Than I teach;
I learn that half knowledge of Another's life
Leads to false judgment;
I learn that there is surprising kinship In human nature;
I learn that it's a wise father who Knows his own son;
I learn that what we expect we get;
I learn there's more good than evil in This world;
That age is a question of spirit;
That youth is the best of life
No matter how numerous the years;
I learn how much there is to learn.
3M Company encourages creativity from its employees. The
company allows its researchers to spend 15 percent of
their time on any project that interests them. This
attitude has brought fantastic benefits not only to the
employees but to the 3M Company itself Many times, a spark
of an idea turned into a successful product has boosted
3M's profits tremendously.
years ago, a scientist in 3M's commercial office took
advantage of this 15 percent creative time. This
scientist, Art Fry, came up with an idea for one of 3M's
best-selling products. It seems that Art Fry dealt with a
small irritation every Sunday as he sang in the church
choir. After marking his pages in the hymnal with small
bits of paper, the small pieces would invariably fall out
all over the floor.
an idea struck Fry. He remembered an adhesive developed by
a colleague that everyone thought was a failure because it
did not stick very well. "I coated the adhesive on a
paper sample," Fry recalls, "and I found that it
was not only a good bookmark, but it was great for writing
notes. It will stay in place as long as you want it to,
and then you can remove it without damage."
Art Fry hit the jackpot. The resulting product was called
Post-it! and has become one of 3M's most successful office