Winners versus Losers

The Winner is always a part of the answer;
The Loser is always a part of the problem.

The Winner always has a program;
The Loser always has an excuse.

The Winner says, "Let me do it for you;"
The Loser says, "That's not my job."

The Winner sees an answer for every problem;
The Loser sees a problem in every answer.

The Winner says, "It may be difficult but it's possible;"
The Loser says, "It may be possible but it's too difficult."

Wise men and philosophers throughout the ages have disagreed on many things, but many are in unanimous agreement on one point: "We become what we think about." Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "A man is what he thinks about all day long." The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius put it this way: "A man's life is what his thoughts make of it." In the Bible we find: "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."

One Sunday afternoon, a cranky grandfather was visiting his family. As he lay down to take a nap, his grandson decided to have a little fun by putting Limburger cheese on Grandfather's mustache. Soon, grandpa awoke with a snort and charged out of the bedroom saying, "This room stinks." Through the house he went, finding every room smelling the same. Desperately he made his way outside only to find that "the whole world stinks!"

So it is when we fill our minds with negativism. Everything we experience and everybody we encounter will carry the scent we hold in our mind.

My Declaration of Self Esteem

I am me.

I am unique. There's not another human being in the whole world like me -- I have my very own fingerprints and I have my very own thoughts. I was not stamped out of a mold like a Coca-Cola top to be the duplicate of another.

I own all of me -- my body, and I can do with it what I choose; my mind, and all of its thoughts and ideas; my feelings, whether joyful or painful.

I own my ideals, my dreams, my hopes, my fantasies, my fears.

I reserve the right to think and feel differently from others and will grant to others their right to thoughts and feelings not identical with my own.

I own all my triumphs and successes. I own also all my failures and mistakes. I am the cause of what I do and am responsible for my own behavior. I will permit myself to be imperfect. When I make mistakes or fail, I will know that I am not the failure -- I am still O.K. -- and I will discard some parts of me that were unfitting and will try new ways.

I will laugh freely and loudly at myself -- a healthy self-affirmation.

I will have fun living inside my skin.

I will remember that the door to everybody's life needs this sigh:

Honor Thyself
I have value and worth.
I am me, and I am O.K.

(Adapted from Self Esteem by Virginia Satir)

The Baker and the Farmer

A baker in a little country town bought the butter he used from a nearby farmer. One day he suspected that the bricks of butter were not full pounds, and for several days he weighed them.

He was right. They were short weight, and he had the farmer arrested.

At the trial the judge said to the farmer, "I presume you have scales?"

"No, your honor."

"Then how do you manage to weigh the butter you sell?" inquired the judge.

The farmer replied, "That's easily explained, your honor. I have balances and for a weight I use a one-pound loaf I buy from the baker."

Total Self Confidence

1. I am resourceful and I have the ability to do whatever it takes to succeed, and to support all those whom I love.
2. I enjoy life's challenges, and I learn from everything that happens in my life.
3. I live each day with passion and power.
4. I feel strong and powerful, happy, and excited.
5. I have tremendous confidence in my talents and my abilities.
6. I meet every situation knowing I am its master.
7. I have deep respect for myself and for everyone I meet each day.
8. I am committed to perform at the best of my ability in all that
9. I do.
10. I forgive myself and others easily.
11. I am aware of the priceless value of my life and the life of everyone I meet.
12. My confidence is unshakable because I live with integrity.
13. I am always at peace because I trust and follow my internal guidance.

The Mountain

There were two warring tribes in the Andes, one that lived in the lowlands and the other high in the mountains. The mountain people invaded the lowlanders one day, and as part of their plundering of the people, they kidnapped a baby of one of the lowlander families and took the infant with them back up into the mountains.

The lowlanders didn't know how to climb the mountain. They didn't know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and they didn't know where to find the mountain people or how to track them in the steep terrain.

Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb the mountain and bring the baby home.

The men tried first one method of climbing and then another. They tried one trail and then another. After several days of effort, however, they had climbed only several hundred feet.

Feeling hopeless and helpless, the lowlander men decided that the cause was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below.

As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the baby's mother walking toward them. They realized that she was coming down the mountain that they hadn't figured out how to climb.

And then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How could that be?

One man greeted her and said, "We couldn't climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the strongest and most able men in the village, couldn't do it?"

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "It wasn't your baby."

Plant Your Garden Today

Plant your garden today
First, plant 3 rows of peas;

• Patience
• Promptness
• Prayer

Next, plant 3 rows of squash;

• Squash gossip
• Squash indifference
• Squash criticism

Then, plant 3 rows of lettuce;

• Let us be Loyal
• Let us be true to our Obligations
• Let us be unselfish

Finish, with 4 rows of turnip;

• Turn up when Needed
• Turn up with a Smile
• Turn up with a Vision
• Turn up with Determination

Complain! Complain! Complain!

It takes a disciplined spirit to endure the monastery on Mount Serat in Spain. One of the fundamental requirements of this religious order is that the young men must maintain silence. Opportunities to speak are scheduled once every two years, at which time they are allowed to speak only two words.

One young initiate in this religious order, who had completed his first two years of training, was invited by his superior to make his first two-word presentation. "Food terrible," he said. Two years later the invitation was once again extended. The young man used this forum to exclaim, "Bed lumpy." Arriving at his superior's office two years later he proclaimed, "I quit." The superior looked at this young monk and said, "You know, it doesn't surprise me a bit. All you've done since you arrived is complain, complain, complain.

Exaggerated? Maybe. What if you were asked to share two words that describe your Life? would your focus be the lumps, bumps, and unfairness, or are you committed to dwell on those things that are good, right, and lovely?

Notes on the Tao Te Ching

1. Words are words, they are not life. Words are used to draw lines and describe concepts. Life is not a concept, nor is it divided or explained by words. Words cause nonsense. Life is lived, not described.
2. Words separate things: There is life/death, difficult/easy, long/short, high/low ... and all points in between. Music comes from varying tones. No sane person can determine the law of life, the way of life in between these points. No one knows the way, or what will or should happen next. How can a leader be important and show the way when they are limited. Never be important.
3. Good government comes from many people who live by their hearts and not some important person's rule and direction based on their limited knowledge.
4. The Universe can take care of itself. It does not need important people.
5. People go crazy arguing about the Universe, though it has taken care of itself very long.
6. Life is free -- the more you breathe, the more breath is left to breathe.
7. The Universe is deathless.
8. A human is like this also. They take care of themselves. There is an inherent undertone and current of health and integrity which takes care of a person. A person seeks a natural level with their Universe.
9. Tao is quiet and unnoticed by the outside world.
10. We live in the space (emptiness) of a house. Tao is empty of outside appearances.
11. External orientation causes problems. Internal orientation is quiet and sensible.
12. Life flows deeper than the rising and setting of the sun. A deeper existence is in each person as well. This is timeless.
13. This cannot be understood, but it flows. "When the river is murky, be patient and let the rivers flow and take it's course, it will clear the mud."
14. Accept life (birth, flowering, death) quietly and openly. Accept the flowing of the River.
15. A good leader leads others to leading themselves.
16. People lose Tao, distortion in the outward comes -- law, ritual, words, hypocrisy. This is not the inward quiet flow of life, but confusion and chaos.
17. Again, words or analysis of life, distracts from life; status carries problems; law causes thieves -- these ways fail to bring happiness. Tao is in the heart, not in greed, status, or knowledge.
18. People's knowledge is a distraction, their leaders are a fake. How can someone know the way for other people ? The material world is so important to people, they make their mark, while I am quietly nursing at the breast of life.
19. You try to know or measure what cannot be understood or measured. Accept life that way, it precedes anyway.
20. Yield to life forces. What can happen that cannot be mended ?
21. Be natural following life, don't insist or force. Nature does not insist. Follow life naturally and you will be alive.

These notes paraphrase in common language)
(a modern translation of the Tao Te Ching.

A Creed To Live By

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you're going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

(Nancye Sims)

A businessman was highly critical of his competitors' storefront windows. "Why, they are the dirtiest windows in town," he claimed. Fellow business people grew tired of the man's continual criticism and nitpicking comments about the windows. One day over coffee, the

businessman carried the subject just too far. Before leaving, a fellow store owner suggested the man get his own windows washed. He followed the advice, and the next day at coffee, he exclaimed, "I can't believe it. As soon as I washed my windows, my competitor must have cleaned his too. You should see them shine."

Confucius once declared, "Don't complain about the snow on your neighbor's roof when your own doorstep is unclean."

Peak Performer

One of the wonderful by-products of high self-esteem is that you become a "Peak Performer."

Every day you become more aware of your abilities and recognize that opportunities to stretch your capabilities are limitless. You desire change, growth, and challenge, and a healthy self-esteem provides the energy.

Peak performers have more than goals, they have a vision of what their life will mean to themselves and others. Peak performers do not live in the future. Peak performers make sure each step taken in the present keeps them on the road toward their life goal.

Peak Performers Can Say:

1. I am motivated and have a mission with realistic and measurable goals.
2. I accept complete responsibility for everything I think, say, feel, and do.
3. I look for the window of opportunity in every situation and know that I will learn from every experience if I choose.
4. I always help others to do their best, and I encourage everyone to contribute something.
5. I correct my course when I reach an obstacle. This way, when things go wrong, I am still headed in the right direction.
6. I expect and appreciate change. It does not overwhelm me because I am prepared.
7. I stand up for my own opinions and values and respect others.
8. I am able to manage myself. I do not require instruction every step of the way.
9. I am not afraid of making mistakes or of taking reasonable risks.
10. I am my own coach. I engage in positive self-talk and rehearsal.
11. I am a life-long student. I am always ready to learn, and I know growth takes sustained effort.
12. I know myself well and still expect to find hidden talents, resources, strengths, weaknesses, energy, and interests.
13. I respect reality both pleasant and painful.
14. I engage in self-confrontation and do not blame others.
15. I readily forgive others and myself and correct mistakes when possible.
16. I am patient, kind, gentle, and compassionate with myself.
17. I have no need to prove I am better or worse than anybody else.

(Adapted from the Self Esteem Workbook)

Beginning

This is the moment of embarking.
All auspicious signs are in place.

In the beginning, all things are hopeful. We prepare ourselves to start anew. Though we may be intent on the magnificent journey ahead, all things are contained in the first moment: our optimism, our faith, our resolution, our innocence.

In order to start, we must make a decision. The decision is a commitment to daily self- cultivation. We must make a strong connection to our inner selves. Outside matters are superfluous. Alone and naked, we negotiate all of life's travails. Therefore, we alone must make something of ourselves, transforming ourselves into the instruments for experiencing the deepest spiritual essence of life.

Once we make our decision, all things will come to us. Auspicious signs are not a superstition, but a confirmation. They are a response. It is said that if one chooses to pray to a rock with enough devotion, even that rock will come alive. In the same way, once we choose to commit ourselves to spiritual practice, even the mountains and valleys will reverberate to the sound of our purpose.

(Deng Ming-Dao)

 Paradise & Hell

A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin, the Zen master, and asked: "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"

"Who are you?" inquired Hakuin.

"I am a samurai," the warrior replied.

"You, a soldier!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."

Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued: "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."

As Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: "Here open the gates of hell!"

At these words the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.

"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.

 Positioning

Heron stands in the blue estuary,
Solitary, white, unmoving for hours.
A fish! Quick avian darting;
The prey is captured.

People always ask how to follow Tao. It is as easy and natural as the heron standing in the water. The bird moves when it must; it does not move when stillness is appropriate.

The secret of its serenity is a type of vigilance, a contemplative state. The heron is not in mere dumbness or sleep. It knows a lucid stillness. It stands unmoving in the flow of the water. It gazes unperturbed and is aware. When Tao brings it something that it needs, it seizes the opportunity without hesitation or deliberation. Then it goes back to its quiescence without disturbing itself or its surroundings. Unless it found the right position in the water's flow and remained patient, it would not have succeeded.

Actions in life can be reduced to two factors; positioning and timing. If we are not in the right place at the right time, we cannot possibly take advantage of what life has to offer us.

Almost anything is appropriate if an action is in accord with the time and place. But we must be vigilant and prepared. Even if the time and the place are right, we can still miss our chance if we do not notice the moment, if we act inadequately, or if we hamper ourselves with doubts and second thoughts.

When life presents an opportunity, we must be ready to seize it without hesitation or inhibition. Position is useless without awareness. If we have both, we make no mistakes.

(Deng Ming-Dao)

 The Touch

Twas battered and scarred, and the auctioneer thought it scarcely worth his while to waste much time on the old violin. But he held it up with a smile:

"What am I biddin' good folks," He cried. "Who'll start the biddin' for me ? A dollar;" then, "two ! Only two ? Two dollars, and who'll make it three ? Three dollars once, three dollars twice; going for three --- " But no.

From the room, far back, a gray-haired man came forward and picked up the bow. Then, wiping the dust from the old violin, and tightening the loose strings, he played a melody pure and sweet as a carolling angel's wings.

There's many a man with life out of tune, who's battered and scarred, and is auctioned cheap to the thoughtless crowd, much like the old violin. A mess of potage, a glass of wine, a game, and he travels on. He is going once, and going twice, he's going and almost gone.

But the Master comes, and the foolish crowd never can quite understand the worth of a soul, and the change that's wrought by the touch of the Master's Hand.

Reflections Of The Sky Nation

The Thunder-beings were busy giving birth to new clouds, sending them to dance in the blue playground of sky. Grandfather Sun provided the glittering sunbeams, which acted like jump ropes for today's newborn white, puffy Cloud People.

One of the most curious little clouds wandered off on the winds. She decided she was going to have a talk with Sacred Mountain. "Grandmother Mountain, I've come to ask you if your forests need rain today," she said. "I want to be of service, and so I thought I had better find out what is needed most."

Sacred Mountain told the little cloud that there was plenty of moisture today, but the little one could help in another way. Sacred Mountain taught the little cloud how to understand the thoughts and questions that the human beings were having. It was fun for the little cloud to capture the waves of human thoughts rising from the Earth and to answer the humans' unspoken questions by becoming shapes that formed a series of ideas. The needed answers were found through the linking ideas.

The little cloud approached Sacred Mountain at the end of the day with another question that caused Cloud to have a heavy heart, "Grandmother Mountain, I've worked all day to reflect helpful answers to the Human Tribe, but now I have one very important question. How can we get them to look up and pay attention?;

(Jamie Sams)

Ten Rules for the Good Life

1. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
2. Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
3. Never spend your money before you have it.
4. Never buy what you do not want because it is cheap; it will never be dear to you.
5. Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
6. Never repent of having eaten too little.
7. Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
8. Don't let the evils which have never happened cost you pain.
9. Always take things by their smooth handle.
10. When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, count to one hundred.

(This is a list of "Thomas Jefferson's ten rules for the good life".)

Life Is ...

"Life is a game of cards. The cards are shuffled and the hands are dealt. You must play your cards well" -- Eugene Hare

"Life is a play. It's not its length, but its performance that counts." -- Seneca

"Life is a B-picture script." -- Kirk Douglas

"Life is something like a trumpet. If you don't put anything in, you won't get anything out." -- W.C. Handy.

"A life is a simple letter in the alphabet. It can be meaningless. Or it can be part of a great meaning." -- Jewish Seminary

"Life is a daring adventure, or nothing." -- Helen Keller

"Life is an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep." -- Carl Sandburg

"Life is what's happening while you're thinking about something else." -- AA saying

Each day I learn more

Each day I learn more Than I teach;
I learn that half knowledge of Another's life
Leads to false judgment;
I learn that there is surprising kinship In human nature;
I learn that it's a wise father who Knows his own son;
I learn that what we expect we get;
I learn there's more good than evil in This world;
That age is a question of spirit;
That youth is the best of life
No matter how numerous the years;
I learn how much there is to learn.

(Virginia Church)

The 3M Company encourages creativity from its employees. The company allows its researchers to spend 15 percent of their time on any project that interests them. This attitude has brought fantastic benefits not only to the employees but to the 3M Company itself Many times, a spark of an idea turned into a successful product has boosted 3M's profits tremendously.

Some years ago, a scientist in 3M's commercial office took advantage of this 15 percent creative time. This scientist, Art Fry, came up with an idea for one of 3M's best-selling products. It seems that Art Fry dealt with a small irritation every Sunday as he sang in the church choir. After marking his pages in the hymnal with small bits of paper, the small pieces would invariably fall out all over the floor.

Suddenly, an idea struck Fry. He remembered an adhesive developed by a colleague that everyone thought was a failure because it did not stick very well. "I coated the adhesive on a paper sample," Fry recalls, "and I found that it was not only a good bookmark, but it was great for writing notes. It will stay in place as long as you want it to, and then you can remove it without damage."

Yes, Art Fry hit the jackpot. The resulting product was called Post-it! and has become one of 3M's most successful office products.